If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.