I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
