I just saw a hot homeless man
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
