Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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