Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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