he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
