He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
