She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
