yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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