I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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