don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
