When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
