thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize