you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
