I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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