So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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