she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
