At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
