new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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