Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
