Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
