it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
