Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I touched a dick in church today
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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