so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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