it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
