I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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