ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
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Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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