she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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