You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
