Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Houston, we have a blender
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Mom said you looked used
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My ass is underappreciated
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
