no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
