Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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