Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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