Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
