There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
