My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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