first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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