He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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