singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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