I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
