he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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