currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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