After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
