Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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