I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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