I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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