This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
