so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
