in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize