omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you would pick up someone in the library
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
