Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
