I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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