and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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