my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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