shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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