sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
