i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
