i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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