I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
