it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
