She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
