Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
