you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
