All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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