Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
